Christmases when you were mine
by SMCKI10
Summary: Oneshot Post 413. Jude reflects on the Christmases when tommy was hers.


**A/N: this fic came about from listening to Taylor Swift's xmas album. This is post 413. thanks to sam/Nevergoodbye who is a kick ass friend and a kick ass beta. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characthers if I did would I really be writing this? **

**Enjoy and Merry Christmas! **

**Please take down the misletoe  
Cause I don't wanna think about that right now  
Cause everything I want is miles away  
In a snow covered little town**

Jude sat in her London apartment flipping thourgh the photo album on her lap. She heard the sounds of her friends and family in the next room attempting to fix Christmas dinner. She had been helping them but after a while she just needed to get away from all of it for a while so she had made her way to her balocny with her photo album. She looked down at the photos of another life- her life with tommy. This was her first Chirstmas without him.

She traced his smiling face remembering the memory in the picture, it had been a year ago Sadie was spending christmas with Kwest and his parents, and Jamie and SME had other commients so jude was spending Chirstmas alone or at least she was suppose to. Till Tommy had came knocking at her door with beer and persents. That night had been one of her best chirstmases ever. It had been just the two of them for the whole night. No family drama no needless chit-chat, it was just the two of them and the chirstmas tree. She looked out at the lights of London that like everything else this time of year was basked in a shade of red and green. She thought about where he was right at this mintue she knew from sadie that he was attempting to go to New Brestwick for chirstmas because the doctors had said it might be his mother's last. She hoped that this visit was going better then his last one had.

**My momma's in the kitchen, worrying about me  
Season's greetings, hope you're well  
Well I'm doing alright  
If you were wondering  
Lately I can never tell**

**I know this shouldn't be a lonely time  
But there were Christmases when you were mine**

She couldn't believe that it had been over four months since she had even heard his voice. It had been too hard she had called him once since she had been in London and the phone call had ended with her in tears and second guessing herslef. She told herslef every day that she was better off being without him. That her life was so much easier without the drama that their reationship always caused. But deep down she knew while her life was easier she was a lot sadder then she used to be.

**I've been doing fine without you, really  
Up until the nights got cold  
And everybody's here, except you, baby  
Seems like everyone's got someone to hold  
But for me it's just a lonely time  
Cause there were Christmases when you were mine**

She was pulled out of her thoughts by a loud clatter in the kitchen followed by Sadie yelling at Spied and Jamie. Who had apparently done something inapporatie to the turkey. Jude laid the photo album down and made her way into the kitchen which was full of her family. Sadie, Speid, and Jamie were having a stand off by the turkey while Zepplin, Krama, and Kwest were sitting at the table. The last few days had been some of the best days Jude had had while in London. But also the last few days it had been panifuly obvious who was missing.

"Everything okay in here guys?" Jude asked looking at her sister lay into her two guy best friends.

"We're fine Jude. Sadie here is being a turkey nazi. You can go back to moping over lord squinty forwn." Speid said.

"I was not---"Jude just trailed off with her respone because of the looks she was getting. She could lie to everyone in London but these people in her kitchen knew her better then anyone, well almost anyone. She stayed in the kitchen for a while longer before she decided her presence wouldn't be missed and she went back to the balocny.

She pulled out her phone and scrolled down to his number. She glanced into the kitchen and seen that they hadn't noticed she was gone and they seemed content to hang out with eachother. And to be honset Jude knew she hadn't been much company this year. She took a deep breath and pressed the call button. The phone kept ringing, it soon went to voicemail. She almost hung up because she couldn't find the words but then something else came to mind. She softly began to sing into the phone a lyric that had been in her head for weeks.

**  
Merry Christmas everybody  
That'll have to be something I just say this year  
I'll bet you got your mom another sweater  
And were your cousins late again  
When you were putting up the lights this year  
Did you notice one less pair of hands**

As she sang her mind drifted back to a memory she held dear. It was from two years ago right before her 18th. Tommy had invited her to come over to his house to finish working on a song away from Darius's prying eyes. She had of course had other plans. She knew that Tommy wasn't big into Chirstmas or any holiday for that matter. So she had bought a little tree and a box of lights. In her hasty planning she had forgotten ornaments, so they used some of their old song jounrals to decorate the tree with. That had been one of the best nights of her life; for once they were able to just be tommy and Jude. Nothing had stood in their way that night, not a number, or parents or daruis or any of the other drama. They were able to just be two good friends who love and trusted eachother.

**I know this shouldn't be a lonely time  
But there were Christmases when I didn't wonder how you are tonight  
Cause there were Christmases when you were mine**

You were mine.

She shut the phone and wiped away the tears that had fallen. She knew a part of her will always love him but she also knew that she needed to be on her own. But that dind't make the pain any less. She placed her phone on the table and walked into the kitchen where everyone was just getting done with prepareing dinner.

A million miles away Tommy listened to the meassage she had left. He then called back with one of his own.

"I miss the Christmases when you were mine."


End file.
